Living With An Alcoholic Spouse: A Healthy Detachment

The best thing you can do when dealing with an alcoholic spouse is to detach from the abuse of the alcoholic. You can do this if you truly love your spouse and want to help them to possible sobriety. The more you focus all your energies on the alcoholic, the less likely he is to get sober. This article focuses on how you can detach and remain healthy mentally.

Dont Make Alcoholism Your Problem

If you have never read any of the Al-anon material then you probably dont know that you are making the disease of alcoholism YOUR problem. One of the sad facts of living with an alcoholic is we become just as mentally and emotionally sick as the alcoholic. This happens because every step of life we take, and every breath of air we breathe has some involvement with the alcoholic. Our emotions overtake our own mental health as we try and cope with the deterioration of the alcoholic in our life. What are we doing wrong? We are concentrating too much on the disease, instead of concentrating on our mental and emotional health. We may as well be tipping the bottle for them. Better yet, we may as well be drinking with them!

Dont Enable

Most spouses of alcoholics dont realize they are helping their spouse drink just by a few simple behaviors and actions. Several ways in which you may be enabling your spouse to drink is by buying them alcohol, drinking with them, calling the boss and or family members for him because he is too hung over or too drunk to do it himself. Lying to friends, boss, family and co-workers about him and his drinking problem. Taking them to the store, arguing with them, and behaving like a victim. You are not the victim of alcoholism until you make yourself BEcome the victim.

Get Off The Pity Pot

Get off of the pity pot and begin living for yourself, instead of living for the alcoholic. Oh poor me, everyday I am suffering and I cant take it anymore attitude wont get you anywhere. You need to take care of yourself and that cannot be done if you are focusing all of your attention on the alcoholic and what he is doing or what he isnt doing. Start focusing on what you can do for yourself. Get out of the house, dont hang around the alcoholic, and dont let them abuse you with their words. If you care about the alcoholic in your life, this is what helps them more than anything else.

Detach With Love

You are powerless to getting your loved one to stop drinking. The first step in being able to detach is by realizing that the shenanigans of the alcoholic is not your problem. Dont try and fix their messes for them. Not only does this enable them to continue drinking, but also it justifies their drinking. Dont have any interaction with the alcoholic while they are drinking; that includes, talking and arguing with them. Why fuss and fight with someone who has lost the ability to make any sense? Dont become ensnared in the alcoholic trap with them. Stay out of the trap, so you can help them. Ninety-five percent of what an alcoholic says is manipulative and hogwash anyway. Dont start believing in the lies of the disease. Separate yourself from the antics of the alcoholic.

Pray For The Alcoholic

I cant tell you how important the process of daily prayer can be. Not only does it bring you closer to God but it will also get you into the habit of going to God with your life challenges. God does hear your cries of pain and He will give you the answers you need to get through your trials and tribulations, even if your spouse continues to drink. Be patient and remain faithful in the Lord and He will deliver you from your suffering.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Philippians 4:6)

New Release! Love The Woman You Married, the companion book to Love The Man You Married. This book explores several main issues that are involved in preserving a happy and purposeful marriage, mainly the areas of submission and spiritual authority. Why are women afraid to submit to their husbands spiritual influence? Over the years, society has turned this issue into something women should fear. Submission is not about control or power like many would like to believe, but about love. Submission is love; if it were anything else than it would not be true submission. More information and to buy the book click here. http://www.lulu.com/content/400517/

For more information about Angie's marriage ministry click here. http://www.heavenministries.com/

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Ready for a Relationship? 10 Good Tips to Know

1. The first way to know if you are ready for a relationship is to know that you are ready to have some fun with somebody. Nobody wants to be with somebody that is a drag and a bore, so be ready to have fun and be ready for a relationship!

2. If all of your past relationships have failed then be ready for a relationship that is different than those that you have had in your past. Dont stick with something because you liked it or it was fun, something else could be better and actually work!

3. Forget about your exes and everything that they did whether you liked it or not! Your new partner or date is not going to be exactly like them and that will be both good and bad. Accept this as quickly as possible and be ready for something fun and completely new!

4. Be absolutely prepared to be patient and wait for the right person to come along to spend the rest of your life (or whatever) with. This wont happen right away (or it might) but most people find that person when they least expect it. Be ready for a relationship, but be ready for the possibility of failure too!

5.Nobody at all wants to be with an intensely negative person and for this fact you need to be as positive and upbeat as possible. Being ready for a relationship means that you are ready for everything else that comes with it, only do it if you are prepared!

6. If you are embarrassed or self-conscious of your looks (first of all dont be because everybody is!) then do everything you can to change them first. A person with low self esteem based on looks isnt ready for a relationship and you dont want to go changing right away if that person likes the way you look!

7. Absolutely stay away from dating and relationships if your job is sucking away all of your time. Sooner or later you should make time, but if you are simply trying to get a foot in the door of a possible career then you are not ready for a relationship.

8. Do an intense self-evaluation before giving complete approval to the idea of being ready for a relationship. Take a good hard look at yourself and pay attention to your habits, because your significant other will tell you about them soon enough and that will only make you angry!

9. Remember what it is from previous relationships that doomed your chances of a long-term situation, from both sides. What turned you off and what turned him/her off? Chances are that could come up again, are you ready to deal with it now or later?

10. Please remember that regardless of if you agree or not, there is another person at play in your decision of if you are ready for a relationship. That other person should be respected and treated as good as you want to be, dont doom this relationship and others by disrespecting your other half.

Alex Carter is the Dating Expert for 10 Good Tips, an online help site for web surfers looking for information on a variety of topics. For more about Being Ready for a Relationship or other serious dating issues, read more from Alex at 10 Good Tips!

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